Jack Frost Father Figure I Guess

Can people with the last name of Frost, and I know you exist, not name your children Jack or even John? Just do your kid the favour. Because this is the second movie in a row we’re covering where Jack Frost is an actual character’s name, and he is supposed to be a real human living in the Year of Our Lord Nineteen Ninety-Something. You may think it’s clever or funny to do that, but I can’t imagine your kid is going to feel the same way. The best parenting advice I’ve heard is that you’re naming a person, not a pet, and you should think about how that name is going to look on college applications and resumes and things. And Jack Frost is going to be one of those names that get a side-eye.

This Jack Frost (Michael Keaton) is a musician. He plays in a rock band in the fictional Medord, Colorado. He plays . . . harmonica. And sings, but yes. There’s also a violin in the group. Anyway, his son, Charlie (Joseph Cross), is more into hockey, and he asks his dad to watch him play, which he does not; he forgets because, I don’t know, rehearsal? And then he promises they’ll have a three-day Christmas at their cabin, only his band gets an important audition, and when he bails on that partway through to go follow his wife (Kelly Preston) and kid to the cabin, he’s killed in a car accident. The next year, he returns as a snowman.

Which suspiciously looks more like George Clooney, who was initially cast in the role before turning it down to do Batman and Robin, and does he regret it? Probably he wishes he could’ve done a third movie instead. Because this, friends, is not a good movie. For one thing, I don’t think George Clooney would be any more capable of making Jack likable than Keaton was. Jack’s not written to be likable, even though it’s clear the movie thinks he is. He’s a neglectful, largely absentee father, and I can only assume he’s independently wealthy, because there’s no way the family survives on just the mom’s income.

There’s a lot to unpack about this movie, and I don’t want to spend that much time thinking about it. It’s got a lot of ‘90s movie vibes to it, especially the spiky-haired bully, Rory Buck (Taylor Handley), who of course snowboards because of course he does. The soundtrack must be heard to be believed; leaving aside the whopping three Hanson songs, I can’t think there are a lot of movies featuring Lisa Loeb, Billy Idol, and REO Speedwagon. The dad’s best friend (Mark Addy), who it feels will end up with the mom at the end and just isn’t allowed to have a life outside the family. The radio station that brags about only playing classic rock—specifically just music from the ‘70s and ‘90s.

I know there are some of you who watched this as children and are probably fond of it. This is one of those weird ‘90s kids’ movies that has a Millennial fan base that I’m too old for, probably. But even if you like it, it’s weird, right? I haven’t mentioned the mom by name because she simply doesn’t matter enough to the story. The kid’s not really being allowed to grieve—the dad gets to be angry at his situation, but the son is never shown being angry at the father. The dad is our perspective character, but it’s aimed at people the son’s age. Honestly the whole thing reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer tries to be a good parent.