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The Rockford Files Files

Season Three Episode Twelve: “There’s One in Every Port”

In which Jim gets stuck doing another con for an ex-con friend which is always a good idea.

“There’s One in Every Port” by Anthony Pizzo

Today’s plot wouldn’t have happened if we lived in a country with a decent social safety net. Jim gets sucked into things because it’s, as he sees it, his way of helping an old friend get desperately needed dialysis. I don’t know if it’s true that, as an ex-con, he doesn’t qualify for welfare and has to pay for it himself, but even if it isn’t, it’s definitely true that poor people in the US don’t get the same level of health care as even middle class people.

Jim is visiting Edward J. Marks (Howard Duff), an old San Quentin friend who’s supposed to be dying of kidney failure. He agrees to participate in a high-stakes card game to get the fifty grand needed to pay for dialysis. The game is held up. He immediately finds out that he was set up by Christina Marks (Joan Van Ark), Eddie’s daughter. Blast Gillette (George Memmoli), one of the other players, expects Jim to make good the theft. He decides that the best way to do that is to run a con.

Honestly, if Jim really were on the wrong side of the law, he’d come to the attention of the police a lot less often than he does. Part of it is that Jim actually reports the crimes he encounters, which he surely wouldn’t do if he were crooked. Part of it, though, is that he’s in many ways a better conman than a private investigator. A lot of his investigations are basically cons anyway. He’s a smart man, but the easiest way for him to get it what he wants is generally to con people.

Continuing with yesterday’s portrayal of neurodivergent characters, it’s clear that Kenny Hollywood (Steve Landesberg) has OCCD. Everyone else finds it frustrating—speaking as a mentally ill person, yeah, our mental health issues can be frustrating to deal with. And in those days, most people wouldn’t know OCCD if you hit them with a copy of the Rorschach Test. (Still being used in those days!) It’s an unfortunate tic, and it’s got to be hard for the con. Even if it’s a legitimate mental health condition.

It seems clear to me that, now that we’re taking a break from playing around with Jimmy Hoffa, we’re referencing Aristotle Onassis. The character Christina is playing in her con is obviously intended to be based on Christina Onassis, Aristotle’s only child to survive him. Hell, she’s herself named after Christina Onassis, I’m sure. I’m not hugely familiar with Onassis and his finances, but “Mr. Dominic” is listed as having died a year before, which is about when Onassis died.

Take Care of Rockford Files: Held up at card game. Held at gunpoint in his trailer.

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