Captain's Log
One week until Christmas, which typically makes this the last week of the year for new network shows
This may be the last week-in-TV article of the year, for reasons we’ll get to soon enough.
Well, that’s a wrap on Solar Opposites. Somehow, the last few episodes manage to resolve and tie up all the side plots and even the main mission, occasionally tying some of them together in surprising ways. If you were curious about the finale fate of the Wall, or whatever happened to Glen and the SilverCops, or even what the true nature of the Solar Opposites’ mission is and how it ties into all of that… well, you won’t be disappointed! I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say the Opposites have become fond enough of Earth to want to stay rather than continue the mission, although how they ultimately get there was definitely not how I expected. (Nor did I expect Terry’s romantasy career to actually take off.) Farewell, sweet show. I’ll miss you.
Matlock, “Call It a Christmas Gift” – Midseason finale. The case of the week again carries some thematic resonance with the main plot, which sees a lot of development this week as Matty (and Edwin, and Alife) pore over the Australia evidence. And then, Senior has a stroke, which throws several things into chaos: The upcoming merger, Julian’s own relationship with and feelings about his father, and for Matty and Olympia… if Senior dies, are they still going to press for the truth and hold Julian accountable? Well, the final-twist scene is certainly setting up some excellent fireworks for when the show returns. The case of the week is about doing the right thing and speaking up for truth and justice, even when justice means holding someone who is widely regarded as a hero or a good man accountable for something bad they did, and the themes of the case and closing arguments lead two different characters to make significant decisions that could prove to be real shakeups.
Also, I guess we’ve seen our last of David Del Rio as Billy, as it was really difficult not to notice his only presence at all was in two phone calls with Sarah (where we don’t hear him), and the episode seemed a little oddly edited, as though they intended for more from him but had to paste that together in a bit of a rush. Didn’t really bother me since we knew this was coming (and why), and they just announced they’re bringing in two recurring characters for the back half of the season, and that might help distribute the load character-wise. But Billy’s absence did stick out like a sore thumb here, which it presumably won’t anymore. Similarly, some scenes in the episode feel rushed, and I wonder if they had to condense two episodes into one to work around Billy’s absence.
Elsbeth, “Glamazons” – Another supermodel story, which of course is always a welcome reason to bring back Laura Benanti as Nadine. Anyway, we’re taking it back to the supermodel era to set up this episode. Tiff Giles (Jamie Pressly) and Madison Fortune (Nicole LaLiberte) had a long-standing rivalry that included stealing jobs from one another and Tiff getting the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover that Madison (and her husband / promoter TJ) thought was hers. Tiff was attacked by an unknown assailant in 2000 and lost her eye; she left modeling (and New York) and tends bar in Pennsylvania. She always suspected Madison and TJ were behind it but couldn’t prove it… but then Madison shows up at her bar one day, hoping to patch up the past and invite Tiff to a reunion shoot. But Madison lets something slip and pokes a hole in her alibi for the night in question… which, naturally, leads Tiff to agree, and to try to arrange the perfect murder of Madison and pin it on TJ.
Okay, that took to much time to set up that I don’t really want to keep writing. But that should give you an idea of what to expect from the episode, more or less. The interviews with the younger models are pretty funny.
Abbott Elementary, “Birthday” – It’s Janine’s 30th birthday and her mother is coming to visit! You may remember from her previous appearance and what we’ve picked up on her that Janine’s mom Venetta (Taraji P. Henson returning) is pretty much the worst. Although she is also someone with her own pain and regrets, and the lack of awareness to understand that Janine doesn’t want the same things she did. Anyway, this is a sitcom, right? You might not get that from the main plot. On the bright side, Janine’s story involves her growing up a bit and accepting the reality for what it is; turning 30 won’t make our parents change their attitude toward us, and they certainly had plenty of time to do it by now anyway.
Funnier is school story with the failing furnace, which involves the two funniest characters, Mr. Johnson and Ava, and guest stars Steve Agee, looking more like he’s been auditioning for roles that would go to Brian Posehn (funny aside, they played boyfriends in The Sarah Silverman Program). Ava is a particular hoot at the end. Also pretty funny, Gregory’s bafflement with Jacob’s winter show decor and program.
Stumble, “Homecoming” – Courteney is disappointed at the lack of school spirit for Headltston’s (I can’t believe I spelled that right my first try) homecoming week, so she organizes a pep rally… during which, they get the news that Headltston’s homecoming-game opponent fell into a sinkhole (right as Courteney is giving a “We’ll wipe them off the face of the Earth!” speech, naturally). But the next week, Headltston is playing Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College, which means Courteney will be facing off against her old school and her husband Boon. What Headltston’s football team lacks in, well, skill, though, they make up for in cheer spirit (and in SDSJC former player DiMarcus still knowing all of the team’s plays). There’s also a couple of subplots of a football player being interested in Sally, and Boon’s ridiculous commitment to keeping his exact same routine during his winning streak. The runner of the fundraising phone number and hashtag coming onto the screen every time Courteney mentions their sinkholed rivals is very funny. Also funny: DiMarcus’ former teammates “White Eric,” “Black Eric,” and “Asian Eric” (White Eric is Black; Asian Eric is white; we didn’t meet Black Eric, so I’m not going to speculate, but feel free to do so in the comments). This show continues to be a lot of fun and funny, and it’s off to a very good start for being only five episodes in.
Beavis and Butt-Head, “Oldholio / The Discoverers” – The last episode of the season, from what I can tell, and quite a good one. Old Beavis and Butt-Head bring back Cornholio, this time due to Beavis helping himself to a bunch of medication at the pharmacy. And that gets out of hand, as Old Beavis is capable of causing a lot more damage than teenage Beavis. “Discoverers” features Smart Beavis and Butt-Head, who visit Earth to install a homing beacon there so the Smart Race of Aliens they’re part of can invade the planet… but they get distracted by something they learn while on Earth, and never complete the mission. But their newfound knowledge, delivered back to the elders, makes them heroes. Who knew the season would end with Tom Anderson saving the planet? (I’ll leave you to discover what Smart B&B discovered on your own, although the biggest surprise is probably that they didn’t know about it already.)
Bob’s Burgers, “It’s a Stunter-ful life” – At a Christmas tree farm, the kids encounter Logan on the kiddie train and he and Louise get into an increasingly elaborate stunt competition. Meanwhile, Bob turns out to be a savant for decorating cookies, and Linda becomes obsessed with saving the poor and leafless trees that went unsold and are going to be mulched. Pretty solid entry into the show’s long, long list of Christmas episodes. I am too tired to say more.
St. Denis Medical, “A Waste of Time and Marble” – Alex gets put in an untenable situation, where Joyce’s new form of snap decision-making has given her a new parking spot, but pissed off some of the other nurses (mostly the “Filipino Mafia” led by Nico Santos’ Rene), who start talking walkout when Joyce won’t provide them reimbursements for continuing education. Alex gets stuck in the middle trying to find a compromise and pretending she’s on both sides. The best part of this plot is probably Matt, whose naivete about labor-management relationships falls away quickly when Serena is able to explain it to him through the magic of cinema (well, after attempts with The Wolf of Wall Street and The Big Short fail, the magic of A Bug’s Life), and he becomes quickly, militantly pro-labor after that. The other major story involves the return of Sanderson, who feels Joyce pulling away from him and who tries to get her attention back by… swallowing a marble from a game of Hungry Hungry Hippos. Ron and Bruce try to coach him through actually doing something nice for Joyce, which involves a lot of Bruce and Sanderson being on the same page because they’re ridiculous people, and Ron actually having solid, practical advice, before he gets fed up with Sanderson and gives up. (Are they seeding a potential Ron-Joyce thing here? They may be, between this and the blowup of the “complete honesty” plot a few episodes back.) Solid way to head to the holiday break; I’m curious if Alex’s frustration with Joyce after this episode will lead to something, though I suspect it won’t.
Pluribus continues to hang over me. I’ll get to it.
Well, ’tis the season, so we tried to make some time for our holiday favorites. “A Very Solar Holiday Opposites Special” was first on the docket. The action set piece is both entertainingly and hilariously violent. Also, there’s a good dig at Love Actually, which I always appreciate, especially any directed at That Scene.
We also watched the two Arrested Development Christmas episodes, which are terrific, and “Afternoon Delight’ is in particular one of my favorites of the entire series.
“Knowing Me, Knowing Yule,” the Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge Christmas special, is also fantastic. It’s 45 minutes long, whereas other episodes of the show were 30 minutes, and I love how the extra time gives us a steadier buildup of Alan completely unraveling, as his unprofessionalism and crumbling home life put him at odds with nearly everyone over the course of the episode, before it finally all explodes gloriously at the end.
I thought about doing a Christmas Day article covering some of my favorite Christmas episodes of TV, but… then I decided on something else, which you’ll read about very shortly. Feel free to have that discussion in the comments today, though!
Besides Alan and AD, Happy Endings‘ “No-Ho-Ho” is a must-watch; of the six Seinfeld Christmas episodes, “The Strike” and “The Red Dot” are the essentials. There are a lot of other worthwhile Christmas episodes, but I’m trying to keep this short. (Apparently Mad Men‘s “Shut the Door. Have a Seat” is a Christmas episode, though, so if you’re looking for an hour-long of a drama, it’s hard to do better than that.)
Oh, I’ll give it up for NewsRadio (particularly “Xmas Story” and “Stupid Holiday Charity Talent Show”), Community (especially “Regional Holiday Music,” although “Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas” is quite good if its themes are more what you’re after), and “A Very Sunny Christmas” (please don’t tell me you need me to tell you what that’s from).
Bob’s Burgers and American Dad! are the leaders in Christmas episodes from my limited research, with fourteen apiece. They are largely good to great (“Christmas in the Car” is not), but American Dad! has the true highlights here— I’m not even sure I could pick the best ones. We watched “The Most Adequate Christmas Ever,” “For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls,” and “Minstrel Krampus” recently, though, and… to avoid thinking about it further, I’ll say those three, “Rapture’s Delight,” and “Ninety North, Zero West” are the top five. (Maybe add “Yule. Tide. Repeat.” to make it an even six.)
A highlight of recent years from the short-lived and little-watched sitcom world: “Mr. Mayor’s Magical L.A. Christmas,” from, uh, Mr. Mayor.
Beavis and Butt-Head‘s episode last Wednesday appears to have been the season finale. The network seasons aren’t over yet, but Matlock and Abbott Elementary aired their 2025 finales and are on winter break. (Matlock won’t be coming back until February 26.) It appears DMV‘s episode last week was the fall finale as well. Elsbeth will still have a new episode tonight, and Stumble will have one tomorrow; I have no word if any network shows will air new episodes during Christmas week, but I doubt it.
Well, next week is Christmas Day, and the week will basically be empty of new TV, so instead… Christmas Day we’ll be rolling out the annual year in music countdown! Look for the part-1 preview article on Christmas Eve.
There is a new episode of Elsbeth tonight and Stumble tomorrow, but I guess we’ll hold onto those for… fuck, New Year’s Day, where most of the TV of note will be college football. (There’s supposed to be a new Bob’s Burgers on the 28th, as well.) I would love to say that’d be the perfect day to have my TV year in review ready, but there’s no way it will be ready by then. So I guess we’ll talk those three episodes and bowl games on the 1st.
Talk amongst yourselves! And make sure to mention your favorite Christmas episodes as well.
About the writer
Captain Nath
Born on the bayou, thriving in the mountains. Writer, gambler, comedian, singer-songwriter, bon vivant, globetrotter, and all-around Renaissance Man with perfect opinions about TV and music. Pronounced with a long A and with the H.
It's a gaming ship.
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Department of
Conversation
What did we watch?
M*A*S*H, Season Three, Episode Six, “Springtime”
“Funny thing, war. Never have so many suffered so much so so few could be so happy.”
“You gotta let me go sir. I just have to get married.”
“Are you pregnant?”
This one has quite a few plots going on that even intersect, Seinfeld-style – one central one is Lyle, a soldier Hawkeye saves who becomes fixated on him. Hawkeye’s ability to riff on anything and everything amazes me. He riffs on the guy’s size so much. There’s also a bit of vomas content when a shellshocked soldier becomes attached to a cat. The most substantial story is Klinger getting married via radio; it’s a great moment of 75% sincerity from him (in that he’s entirely sincere about wanting to get married but also would fuck off from the army at the first chance).
“Underneath these good looks lies a very terrible person.”
Klinger’s marriage is a weird thing. I don’t think it’s mentioned again till she sends a Dear John letter. And I thin the only reason they did that is so that they could have Klinger date.
The Practice, “Court Officers” – The stories from the previous two episodes continue. Ellenor, angry at the judge who tossed award in the EPA suit, forces a hearing over his conduct (or his misconduct), Despite how buddy buddy federal court judges supposedly are, she gets the less obnoxious of the EPA’s lawyers to agree that the judge was coercive, and wins back the money. Can you really do this in real life? Meanwhile, Bobby preps the appeal for his friend, but not much happens. And the main story has Jimmy defending the young woman who in season two was arrested for solicitation. This time it’s crack, and this time she’s pregnant. The DA has a plan to arrest the woman for “distribution” in order to force the girl into rehab, and Jimmy goes along, but the judge isn’t having it. Tragically, the girl fires Jimmy, doesn’t go to rehab, uses again, and harms the baby. An interesting examination of a failure to balance the obligations of a lawyer and the best needs of a client.
Reminds me of Annie Hall: “Boy, if only real life were like this!”
Deadstream (2022) – What if a Mr. Beast-esque streamer known for crass stunts had to stay in a haunted house for one night? Your mileage may vary depending on how much you like intentionally annoying protagonists, but the awesome practical creatures, Evil Dead-esque goop and gross fluids, and smart use of POV camera kept me enthralled. There’s also some insight here about influencers and streamers selling themselves out for a following and what it means for your soul, with Shawn recognizing he might need to atone for his previous bullshit. His audience meanwhile actively cheers for his potential demise and helps him stay alive via their comments and video uploads. A ton of fun.
Weapons. The trailer does a good job of accurately showing the premise: one night, at 2:17 am, all the children but one in a 3rd grade classroom disappeared. They got up and naruto ran out of their house into the night. The movie gradually unfolds the mystery through a series of POV chapters, gradually revealing more clues about what happened and who (or what?) is behind it.
Without giving away any plot, there’s some great acting here with a great cast. Julia Garner is the teacher whose students disappear and whom the townsfolk reasonably suspect. Josh Brolin is a dad. Benedict Wong is the principal. Alden Ehrenreich is a town cop. There’s some nice interior and interpersonal
drama happening with the backdrop of the missing kids. The pacing maintains tension and the horror and mystery mechanics are both well executed.
Thematically, it touches on without being allegorical for addiction, child abuse, and school shootings. It has some of the vibes of IT and The Night of the Hunter: it’s a hard world for small things, particularly when someone or something is preying on the children and the adults are too blind to put it together until it’s too late.
Spoilers:
As the mystery unfolds, we see how the magic works, and we see characters see how it works. So when the ending of the story happens the foundation is well-established. It is cathartic and hilarious. And a bit gruesome. It’s a hard world for small things, but maybe sometimes they get to fight back.
We don’t get much additional
closure though, like about if the kids recover, etc. Which is also an interesting choice—we get this big moment of catharsis but are left without a full resolution.
If you have not already seen it, you should, and try to avoid knowing more of the plot than the trailer gives away as the premise.
Succession Tom being very much not into an open marriage is a great running gag. Shiv giving Tom an arrangement and using it to control
him more is a great. Shiv thinking she’s a lib is an even better running gag. The only one of these people who is close to being a human being is maybe Greg, and I’m not sure.
more Weapons:
Aunt Gladys weaponizes being an old lady. She dresses intentionally ridiculously with a hideous wig and make up when she goes out. Her apparent frailty and oddity is a tool. Marcus (Wong) and his husband wildly misread the situation. When we see her in private, Madigan turns on a different type of apparent vulnerability, which is also a sham.
By contrast, the actually vulnerable child Alex is mostly
ignored by adults around him, except by the teacher (Garner). Garner has an unprofessional attachment to him; this failure to maintain professional distance nearly gets her killed but it also ultimately leads her to find the kids. The other adults don’t notice that Alex’s parents disappear. His parents coworkers don’t notice that they disappeared. Marcus waits to call cps. No one notices the little boy carrying bags of soup by himself. We turn a blind eye to what happens to kids until it may be too late; we have to for practical reasons. So instead it’s people on the edge who notice things are wrong but can’t get authorities to listen. (Another connection to IT and Night of the Hunter).
more Weapons:
My favorite shot of 2025 is from the climax of this movie, as we see a man mowing his lawn and in the far distance from one backyard to the next Aunt Gladys in her pajamas. She runs horizontally across the background, no longer looking dangerous and instead like a perfectly normal old lady. As she crosses, a pack of feral children follow her. The distance of the shot takes away some of viscerality of the chase. It looks absurd, looney tunes-esque. After the tension and danger of the previous hour and a half of film—or the past two weeks if you were someone who lived in that town—it’s a bizarre shift in tone. (Another Night of the Hunter connection)
My guess is that Madigan chose the first interpretation. But the ambiguity is palpable in the movie, and it must have been great to play on set, for her and for the rest of the cast.
Not a huge fan of Christmas episodes, but Hugh Wilson riffed well twice on A Christmas Carol, once with Mr. Carlson on WKRP (Carlson actually says to the ghost “this is one of those Scrooge dream deals, right”), and presented a chillingly prescient vision of the computerized future of radio, and later on The Famous Teddy Z, where Alex Rocco wakes from his dream…and shrugs it off!
And somewhere lost in the mists of time is an episode from the short lived “Half Hour Comedy Hour” – a comedy anthology hosted by George Burns – that is a sequel to the original Dickens story, where the ghosts come back to deal with how overly successful they were, turning Scrooge from miser to spendthrift. Surprisingly good cast, too, with James Whitmore as Scrooge and Roddy McDowall as Bob Cratchit.
Lastly, the Real Ghostbusters trap the three ghosts from the story, ruin Christmas, and have to fill in for them. Don’t ask, just watch!
I must have seen that Half Hour Comedy Hour episode when it aired and I’ve wondered what it was for years, so thanks for that!
Year of the Month update!
Here’s the movies, albums, books, TV, and games from 1985 for you to write about next January.
TBD: Ruck Cohlchez: Tim and/or Fables of the Reconstruction
Jan. 2nd: Gillian Nelson: Return to Oz
Jan. 5th: Tristan J. Nankervis: Rambo: First Blood Part II
Jan. 9th: Gillian Nelson: Advice on Lice
Jan. 16th: Gillian Nelson: The Wuzzles/The Gummi Bears
Jan. 19th: Tristan J. Nankervis: The Breakfast Club
Jan. 23rd: Gillian Nelson: The Golden Girls
And there’s still time to write about anything from 1948, like these movies, albums, and books.
Dec. 20th: Lauren James: The Lottery
Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas is the Claymation episode, right? Worst Christmas episode, if not just episode of TV in general, of the millennium.
Hahaha I should have known you’d be our John Oliver. It’s not an episode I love or have fallen hard for like some people, but in the right mood, a couple of the sequences work well for me, like Pierce returning and the final musical number.