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A Love Letter to Fox Mulder

I want to believe (sincere).

Even today, I don’t think there’s a creature on television quite like Fox Mulder. This is a rare case where a woman has been allowed to outshine a man; Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) has had volumes written about her detailing her wonderful qualities as a skeptic and, indeed, the material effect she’s had on women in STEM and law enforcement (also known as the Scully effect). Her mere existence within the show elevated it enormously, grounding writing that could and often did fly off into the aether and then up its own ass. Fox Mulder (David Duchovny), on the other hand, hasn’t received quite as much critical appreciation and in fact I feel he can be underrated. 

Many people observe that, much like Scully, he’s an inversion of what was, at least then, a gender stereotype – on top of his conspiracy thinking, he’s an expert in psychology and profiling; soft sciences compared to the hard science of Scully. I would actually say this ends up enveloping his entire character; his fascination with the human condition and ‘the possibilities’ extends to a nonjudgemental attitude towards the whole of the human race. Mulder’s curiosity goes hand-in-hand with compassion, particularly for people whose only crime is being a loser or a freak.

The very obvious comparison is with his successor, Doggett (Robert Patrick), who embodies the very masculine qualities of domination that Mulder’s existence rejects. The moment I fell in love with Mulder was in the pilot; he marks an X on the road, and when he passes over it a second time, mysteriously losing several minutes, he laughs in wonder. He has found a section of the universe in which he has no control, and this has brought him joy. Mulder claims his motivation is to find the Truth (always spoken with a capital letter, somehow), but based on his actions, what Mulder really seeks is a world where nobody dominates anybody, and we can trust simply floating down the river that is life.

About that motivation: I don’t think there’s a better character-establishing line than ‘I want to believe’. Every time Mulder says it in the show – or someone says it in homage to him – I feel a prick of joy (indeed, one of the positive qualities of the ‘16/’19 seasons is that he goes back to saying it all the time). One of the mistakes, even and in fact especially in X-Files fandom, is thinking that Mulder’s compassion and curiosity make him dumb, as if he couldn’t tie his own shoes without Scully*. What makes ‘I want to believe’ capital-G Great is that it describes both Mulder’s motivation and his process of getting there.

*There are two ways to dehumanize a person: degrade them and put them on a pedestal.

There’s a difference between believing and wanting to believe. ‘Believing’, despite being a verb, isn’t really an action – it just happens, usually unconsciously. Wanting to believe, on the other hand, is a process; to say someone wants to believe something is to insult them, because you’re saying they’re acting in fear and nervousness that what they’re doing is incorrect – that they are self-deluding. When Mulder uses the phrase, however, he uses it honestly. He wants to believe aliens are out there, he wants to believe you can turn lead to gold, he wants to believe you can find his fucking car keys. But then, he knows that if you want something to be true, you need to conclusively prove it’s true.

The most common mistake people make is thinking that Scully is almost always wrong and Mulder almost always right – the number of non-supernatural conclusions to Monster O’ The Week episodes can be counted on less than one hand. In truth, both of them are almost always wrong – in a standard MOTW episode, Mulder will throw out a surreal supernatural explanation that’s always exactly as wrong as Scully’s mundane one, and regardless, it doesn’t matter. Mulder’s theories are less about being 100% correct and more about picking a direction to go in.

One of my heretical X-Files fandom opinions is that episodes scripted by Darin Morgan are, while funny, wildly overrated specifically because the man has contempt for Mulder that comes from a complete lack of understanding of him. For one thing, Mulder as written in Morgan episodes has a level of ego that I don’t believe is present in the character; “The Lost Art of Forehead Sweat” has him demanding answers on the basis that his name is Fox Mulder, “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” has a scene where Mulder has an incomprehensible conversation that comes off as him indifferent to his subject’s dignity, and our own Lauren James has pointed out how the joke on Mulder at the end of “Humbug” makes no sense in the reality of the show.

If these jokes work, it’s because David Duchovny (ironically) doesn’t take himself at all seriously and enjoys puncturing Mulder’s air of mystique; indeed, they often come off as jokes Mulder would make about himself. It’s interesting that Chris Carter (series creator) is more inconsistent in the quality of his scripts and yet, when Mulder is written badly in them, he’s still recognizably Mulder. Mulder’s actual negative quality is that his passions can, in the wrong context, override his rationality; where his sister is concerned, he can forget the ‘want to’ part of his motto and end up on an absurd goose chase that he hasn’t fully thought through (to an extent and for opposite reasons, the same thing can happen when he wants vengeance on the Smoking Man). Mulder is at his most attractive during a MOTW, when he’s open-minded about the solution to a problem, detached somewhat from the people involved, and operating out of love of the game as opposed to seeking a specific outcome (no surprise all of this is true of the show as well).

Mulder is the part of humanity that crossed oceans when we’d barely mastered the concept of fire. He’s the part of us that projects emotions onto trees and clouds and roombas. He’s also an example of how to act upon those intuitions; not blindly, not with the aim of having been right all along (and getting the world to admit it should have recognized this), but with the desire to find the real truth. The funny thing about Mulder is how he made the real work look like play, because that’s what it should be; to Mulder, the world is not a place to dominate, but to explore.