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Year of the Month<em

Guards! Guards!

Spinning fictional plates, doing good, and the sainthood of an author.

“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You’re wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.”

This is, I believe, the most famous and celebrated passage from any Discworld book. Its context is that it’s spoken by Lord Vetinari, the Patrician of the city of Ankh-Morpork, to Vimes, the cynical and hardbitten protagonist, immediately after they’ve managed to clean up the mystery of the dragon that has bedevilled the city. Vimes has spent the book as a noir protagonist – wavering between parody and sincere example, as is Pratchett’s style – who bemoans and celebrates the scrabbly, cynical, self-serving human nature he observes in his city. 

Vetinari, by comparison, rules over the city with a delicate touch and total ruthlessness; he completely accepts human nature for what it is, and uses that to keep his city in order; famously, quite a few of the plots attempting to depose or undermine him are run by himself, although my favourite example of his ruthlessness is the fact that he legalized the Thieves Guild and turned them into a business. Vetinari’s quote summarizes his attitude quite well; there’s goodness, there’s fairness, and there’s order, and Vetinari will use the second to achieve the third with no interest in the first.

At the beginning of the novel, Vimes is lying drunk in the gutter, weary and sad because one of his crew has died. He is the captain of the Night Watch, the least respected, worst paid civil servants in the great (or at least large) city of Ankh-Morpork. The fascinating thing about Pratchett books is how they’re six different things at once – they’re moral statements and they’re very funny and they’re canny statements about human nature and they’re moving and they’re densely plotted with nothing out of place and they’re incredibly quotable. In this case, Vimes is both Pratchett’s reflection on idealism and works very well as a sympathetic character (emphasis on the pathetic) who we want to see win and will feel really good about when he comes out on top at the end.

The reason I chose to write about this particular book at this particular moment is because its particular feelings on achieving goodness feel particularly relevant right now. Pratchett passed away about a decade ago, and in that time, he seems to have gone from knighthood to sainthood in many people’s eyes; he has gone from an excellent writer to the last word on right and wrong and our guide through evil – I think particularly of this person, who describes his attitude as that of ‘militant decency’ and speaks of it as central to being a human being.

There are a lot of reasons for this. One big one, of course, being the visible hand of fascism; physically disgusting, verbally abusive, and spiritually noxious presences in the White House, the highest echelons of business, and every aspect of our social media for an obvious example. I strongly suspect the outing of Neil Gaiman as a rapist predator is another big reason for Pratchett specifically to be canonized; having had the rug pulled from one beloved English author from our childhoods, people have run to the open arms of another for protection. Pratchett represents a warm, beautiful humanism that feels comforting in horrific, ugly times.

(My friend RD Olivaw suggested that Gaiman had specifically been cultivating Pratchett’s reputation due to their short relationship as protection in case what he did would come out exactly as it did, which I find a pleasing bit of irony)

Sadly, like most simplifications, this is both vast and scrubs out much of what I find meaningful in Pratchett. The least obvious reason people are drawn to Pratchett is just as that person observed: because he, in his own way, gives the reader permission to be angry. Vimes is a creature of a deep, welling rage at the injustices he sees around him; not just big ones, like that someone has summoned a dragon that’s killing people and burning down buildings, but the little things, like the onlookers who find a way to justify it so they don’t have to risk their own lives. People look at things like this and believe that Pratchett is telling them yes – you need to be exactly what you want to be anyway.

This flatly ignores things like, for example, the lone man who stands up to the dragon and gets effortlessly burned alive for the trouble. Night Watch delves much more strongly into Vimes’s anger and his grappling with it, but I chose to talk about G!G! for two reasons: firstly, I haven’t actually read NW yet, but also because I’m more interested in the fact that even now, right at the start of his story, Pratchett is questioning the rightness and expression of Vimes’s anger. He does it partially through Vetinari, who makes decisions solely based on their ability to cause an effect he seeks, but also through Carrot.

The whole joke with Carrot is that he’s secretly the actual lost king of Ankh-Morpork and nobody quite realizes that (least of all Carrot himself). This will sound like a smug gotcha or an insult – either to him or his fans – but I promise it isn’t: Pratchett was, above all else, a genius propagandist. He had an incredible gift for presenting you with an idea and making you feel like you were both learning something and already knew it all along; that he was simply giving name to something you already knew. He did this in various ways; number one being by making your basic person both stupid and cunning, like the people reasoning out that a dragon eating people every now and again could be a perfectly acceptable state of affairs. You know this, you’ve seen this, and you shake your head alongside both Vimes and Pratchett as it happens.

My favourite example of this is Carrot’s sword. Pratchett tells you that of course most people would think a hero’s sword is shiny and new when of course an actual sword people actually use would be dented and old; he has made you feel quite cynical and wise, able to see through the obvious lies people tell themselves, and he’s managed to do this without seeming obsequious. This is, naturally, part of his ability to write entertainment; Pratchett has a Tarantinoesque knack for creating cynical, world-weary characters, making the reader empathize with their world-weariness, and then pulling the rug from under everybody.

(One can compare it with this Tumblr post. I’m not saying it’s bad, or the message is bad, or the person is stupid – just that it doesn’t evoke the feelings that Pratchett’s writing does despite aiming for similar goals; indeed, it wouldn’t shock me to discover he wrote a passage on a similar theme. This is perfectly fine, straightforward writing, but it doesn’t sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the distance the way Pratchett does. In spite of it all, I do believe the internet has been an overall good for humanity, but it’s hard to see this and not believe it’s led to people who are less interested in being good writers and more in being good posters.)

Carrot is interesting because he’s absolutely not cynical or world-weary – his central trait is that he’s inherently noble, and the question is how a noble person could operate in this world. He absorbs the Law with dutiful literalism, and his story becomes how to express that as effectively as possible. What begins as bloody-minded literalism evolves very quickly; the interesting thing about Carrot is that he’s exactly as emotional as Vimes, but that emotion defines the direction he goes as opposed to his day-to-day decision-making. For the most part, he’s less interested in the Goodness of people around him and more in the Goodness of his own character; the world is simply a practical thing to move through.

Oh, there’s also the villain of the book. I’ll refrain from spoilers, if only because my process of writing this essay has led me to mostly avoiding them, but I can say the villain really isn’t that different from Vimes – he’s also driven by a frustration with the stupidity and immorality around him, and his actions are taken to try and control it with sheer force, only for that force to come back on him (comparisons between this plot – a group of small, pathetic, entitled, everyday men who propped a monster who ruined their lives – and the Trump administration will be delivered flippantly).

The question isn’t ‘should you get mad about evil’, the question is ‘what’s the correct way to deal with evil?’, and the answer is, unfortunately, a lot of hard work. The interesting thing about the book is that Vimes and Carrot actually have very little pragmatic effect on it; if they hadn’t been there, the entire plot actually probably would have turned out pretty much the same. There are two clear exceptions: Vimes saving one person’s life at the end, and, possibly, him choosing to take care of a swamp dragon and carrying it around at appropriate moments. It was this, more than anything, that saved the day; a simple and basic act of kindness that spread out to something bigger (and even then, I think that swamp dragon would have gotten where he needed to be). The actual arc of the book is more personal; Vimes and the Watch being in a more comfortable position, literally and emotionally. Admittedly, perhaps that’s the best many of us can hope for.

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