Jerry O’Connell

He didn’t make the schedule because of Stand By Me. That’s pure coincidence. The fact is, he’s here because of his role of Detective Woody Hoyt on Crossing Jordan. It’s an interesting role, and he was good in it. He has depth and personality in the part. The part grew and changed over the course of the series, becoming more than just the goodhearted goof from Wisconsin he is in his initial appearance. Woody falls in love with Jordan while she’s a hot mess and he’s a bit of an innocent, and over the course of the series they end up meeting somewhere in the middle. It’s almost charming.

But that’s not where you know him from. He’s Vern Tessio, and he always will be. And this week, we’re all thinking a lot more about Vern Tessio. For many years, he apparently wasn’t a big fan of talking about the role, because it was his famous role from when he was a fat kid. He’d likely rather have talked about Woody—or Quinn Mallory from Sliders or even Andrew Clements from My Secret Identity, a show I have, in fact, seen, albeit not since it initially aired. Maybe you had time to discuss Kangaroo Jack?

But no, you want to talk about Vern, and so did I. I know he enjoyed rehearsing the role, because he got to swear and his mother couldn’t do anything about. Because he was learning his lines, jeez, Mom! Still, Rob Reiner took care of those boys, and he made the experience good for them. Even though Vern is arguably the worst role of the four. It’s not just that he was what would’ve been called “husky” in the days when the story is set. It’s that he’s not very bright, and unlike Teddy, who’s also not very bright, he doesn’t have much emotional depth. He’s just kind of there.

Still, it’s not a lot of children who appear in one of the most iconic movies of their generation, and there it was for O’Connell. It doesn’t matter what else he does with the rest of his career. He’s just as memorable for us as making that movie doubtless was for him. And while he’s not a great character, various of his actions are fully understandable. Does he run away from Ace? Of course he does, and wouldn’t you? It’s hard not to run away from the bully when he’s threatening to kill you.

Had I written this article about him sooner, perhaps I would have talked about other things. There is a lot to say about Woody, after all, and Quinn. There’s his writing. There’s his brother. His college fencing. His time voicing both Superman and the original Captain Marvel. He’s had a fine career, one that’s much more than a single role. But right now, it’s hard to think of much in his career other than that role. I’m sure he can’t blame us.